Negativity problem

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this site, but not new to weight lifting. I have a really impatient personality and also am easily negative and discouraged/quitter/get bored easily. A couple of years back I was into weight lifting but then life changed and I moved and wasn't able to have my gym set up or go to a gym, so I started running daily for 45 minutes.

Anyways, getting to the point, I am interested in increasing my upper body strength and still don't have access to a gym or gym like set up so I like the idea of doing body weight workouts; push ups, pull ups etc. The problem is that I can't do a single pull up and I can only do a couple of push ups. Its sad, I know, I used to be stronger (not strong, just stronger than I am now) but now I am fairly muscularly weak.

My goals now are to do push ups and pull ups and hanging abs. But seeing as I can't even do these, I get pretty down on myself. I'm a big fan of instant gratification, which doesn't help matters.

So, I don't know if I am weird, but I see some women have amazing arms that are larger at the bicep, thinner at the tricep area and then larger again at the shoulder. My arms are tapered from bicep to shoulder, but I want my arms to have that larger:smaller:larger look. It is very elusive to me. Is this a genetic predisposition, or can I eventually train to have arms that look like this?

What would be the beginning steps towards my goals?

1.do pull ups
2.do push ups
3.have the larger bicep, thinner, tricep and larger shoulder look

Thanks for reading this.

If you don't have access to a gym a TRX would help.

What is a TRX?

Suspension training system,check YouTube.