Lovin A Sociopath .. ?!?

'I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy'
~ Tom Waits

So yah, few brews involved.

I'm not a professional by any means, but I can tell when there's something wrong, like really wrong.

1. Callous unconcern for the feelings of others and lack of the capacity for empathy.
2. Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations.
3. Incapacity to maintain enduring relationships.
4. Very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence.
5. Incapacity to experience guilt and to profit from experience, particularly punishment.
6. Marked proneness to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior bringing the subject into conflict.
7. Persistent irritability.

^^^ That about sums it up perfectly. I experienced all those things a million times. Just 100% remorselessness.
Absolutely oblivious to relationship/friendship etiquette. I'm completely shattered and broken down emotionally.

12 yr marriage ended, and she came into my life just at the right time. I feel like Paul McCartney w/ out money, or musical talent. I have to make light of the situation. I'm done and through trying to rationalize her behavior, I just can't. I tried my hardest to get her to go to therapy w/ me. I tried my hardest to get her to take anti-depressants she was prescribed. I tried to get her to go to therapy for herself, not us. Nothing. That stuff doesn't work you know. :\

It was 8 wasted months. She could be anything, to anyone, at anytime. I gave up a healthy sleep schedule just to spend time w/ her. There were no compromises on her end. It was always gonna be next week. After 8 months talk gets pretty cheap.

The worst of it, I gave up some really fine tail cuz I thought she loved me. Wasted 8 months of my time. A tiny bit of me is bitter, most of me is crushed tho. I've been congratulated by so many ppl, but that gives me little to no comfort.

8 months is long time to **** w/ someone.

xxSCHiSMxx, don't despair. If this woman did not share any of your core values and etiquettes when it comes to friendship or relationship, it is wasn't meant to be anyways.

Don't look it as 8 month wasted, look at it as an experience gained on how to spot and how to deal (or not to deal) with a manipulative person sporting such a sociopath character. Don't be fooled by looks or casual attitude. Always look at the bigger picture.

Stop turning in circles in your mind and let go of her, as far as you know she could be playing the same game with other men, and don't worry, time will end up healing it all as I don't have the impression the wounds she left are very deep.

You will find someone better and most importantly someone that will make you NOT feel like a second thought.

Hang in there bro.



-Z-

Hey man,

Hang in there. I'm not a professional but I know when my car is broken I go to a mechanic, if my liver stops working I go to a doctor. A person's mind is a complicated machine, it can be tuned and repaired whether it be friends, counselling, healthcare professionals, support groups or all of the above.

You are surely not alone in this. Call someone in the health care field in your province or hometown and take the first step in getting on the road to mental wellness. You will be surprised how helpful and understanding people are and how much help there is out there. There is NO shame in asking for help and definitley none in admitting something might be wrong.

Sorry if this reply seems a bit preachy or the like.

Stay strong and be well.

chicks are the root of all evil....kidding..

Don't **** anybody crazier than you are.

Consider this a cheap life lesson, you've still got your health, your home, no kids, etc. Yes it sucks now, yes it hurts, but learn from it and move on, you will be a better person in the end. :)

Well, you have to look ahead and try your best to forget past and try to get on track. Sucks, but best of luck

Glad you moved on.

To be honest, I have seen more and more women nowadays fall into the category of sociopath. It's pretty sad.

i agree with monka, there is no benefit to looking back. I know it's still fresh in your mind, but when I went through a very, very ugly breakup (she was living with me and wouldn't even want to leave!) she drove me crazy! I didn't even act like myself, I was going nuts. Crazy thoughts I never had were going through my head, but I never think man I wasted 3 years i think at least now I know what to look for. It's all a learning lesson. Now I know what signs to look for that I would never want in someone, and you can't change that person either....trust me I tried....

good luck bro. and trust me, things get much better!

My ex-wife was all that you describe. I was with her for 8 years.

Everything was everyonelse's fault and she would never take responsibility for her own actions.

Her fits of rage were always caused by me.

When she was prescribed meds by a doc for her obvious mental health issues she never took them saying she did not want to become dependent.

Anyways, there was alway excuses, always finger pointing. I gave her the best of me and what I had. Once I put my foot down and demanded change and refused to play along with her pettiness she walked out on me. Some are simply looking for people that will support their behavior. They have no will or desire to change. It is easier to find another person put up with and enable their bad behavior than to change.

I have since married the most wonderful woman in the world. She is loving, caring, and supportive. We have never argued. I never knew relationships like the one I have now existed.

Hang in there.

^Nice story, good for you bro.