Hi all, I feel like I don't have any other place to turn. I know what my friends are going to say, but obviously I don't want to take the advice if I'm here...so I'm reaching out.


Long story short...met this girl back in May at a friends bday party. We hit it off, spent the whole night talking together. Got her number that night, we went out a few times the following week, slept together I dunno maybe 3-4 time hanging out.

BUT heres the kicker, turned out she had a BF, she's doing the long D thing. Well the actually broke up not long after I found out, but I can't date someone that I can't trust so we talked about it and we kept it casual. I usually don't do this sort of thing, but the sex is great and I've just gotten over a break up from a long term. I wasn't too keen on getting deep into a relationship either, and I'll be honest shes not exactly the type I could have a long term with. Not that we don't get a long, we actually get along very well, but she lacks ambition, shes 5 years younger, and is stuck in party mode.

Well anyways, that was 3-4 months ago, and we've been seeing each other regularly and I hate to admit but I've gotten attached. Like if I'm getting a movie I automatically think would she want to see this too, it was that realization and something my friend said that made me realize she really has grown on me.

Heres the problem, I have a pretty good spidey sense and it went off just before christmas. It was bothering me, and I know this is wrong morally but I got her facebook pass(don't ask how) and I checked her fb.

Well sure enough an old co-worker of hers sent her a few msgs back in Nov and they been back and forth infrequently. Harmless stuff at first, just how you doing, what you been up to etc. Well he started asking to chill with her just before christmas and their schedules never matched, and then he started sending more msgs and she caged. And you could tell 2 things, 1 he's a gentelmen, nice guy, has a crush.

Well they finally set a time to meet up, and that was at a going away party for a common friend, this was on saturday. She didn't lie to me, she did say she was going to so and so's going away party and that she had a ride. Well I picked her up from the party afterwards, apparently the guy got bored and left early. It was one of those 7am parties.

Anyways, saw a string of messeges from them last night. He messeged her to appologize for leaving etc. And apparently he told her that night that he liked her, that he's really into her and he pretty much begs for a second date. You know, just give me one chance that sorta thing, I really want to see you.

Well she messegs back that she really wants to see him too, she'll messege him when she knows her schedule and that he tell her what his schedule looks like, and she ends the msg with a heart sign and her name.

So obviously boy scout messeges back i'm free here and there blah blah miss you boy scout.


Now, hold on, I want you guys to know I'm not faulting her for anything. She is single, we are casual and I totally get the arrangement. And yes sometimes I do feel I've gone too far, but self preservation instincts kicked in.

Heres the thing, I know she's got feelings for me too, somethings you can't hide. The comfort level is there, we don't just sleep together, we grocery shop, hang out, relax on the couch, grab take out etc.

Anyways, my thing is not that I'm mad. Its that I'm kind of sad that she would be that forward and want to see him some more. She obviously knows how he feels and is clearly aware that I'm here too. I can understand her wanting to see where it could go with this guy, and I have no right to protest.

So, I have a few decisions to make. Do I tell her I know and that will probably end everything. Do I wait it out and monitor and see what happens, then decide accordingly? Or do I just walk away now?

I know the safe bet is the walk away because obviously she has issues when it comes to being with one guy, but thats where the I've grown attached thing comes in.

I really just want peoples opinions on what they think is going on in her head, mind you she is quite young (21), and what they would do if they were in my situation. I'm really stubborn when it comes to taking advice, but I'm always open to hearing opinions in case something doese click with me.

So have at it guys...